Thursday, April 5, 2012

Beck's great day

Beck had such a great day yesterday. He's becoming more independent--as Mr. Monk says, "it's blessing and a curse."

He can lay on his stomach now for 10-15 minutes, and his hand are becoming more like hands! He can grasp at objects, and actually hit them with his hand most of the time. So he'll lay on his stomach pushing his toys around, babbling to himself. So cute!

When he gets tired of that I'll roll him over and he'll play with a toy, putting it up to his mouth and babbling as he chews on it. Something about having an object in his mouth makes him want to talk! He's so funny.

He really loves feeling things. That sounds hilarious, and maybe all babies are like this, but since he was a newborn he would rub his hands back and forth on different textures, my sleeve, his blankets, daddy's face . . . just feeling it. For this reason he LOVES stuffed animals--my aunt Gail sent him this huge stuffed polar bear, Arctic Harry, whom he will pull right into his face and stroke and stroke. Getting to pat the pets is pretty much his favorite activity. As soon as he sees one of the cats a big smile will light up his face and he holds out his hands to them, which means, "I want to pet one!"

But his favorite toys of all are empty chip bags. We figured this out on the plaine ride to Anchorage. I'd stuffed the diaper bag with tons of toys: things that rattle and jingle, things he could suck on or pull. I wanted to be sure I had lots of distractions because I was hoping he wouldn't scream the entire flight, as I've heard some infants do. The sewardess delivered our snacks once we were at altitude, and what do you know, he LOVED the empty snack pack bag. It was just big enough that he could put his tiny hand over it and slide it back and forth across the tray table. Daddy giave him his pack too, and there he was, happy as a little lark, sliding both hands across the tray making crinkle sounds.

Sigh, I thought as he grew more independent it would get easier for me to find little pockets of time to write. Not so. I drafted this weeks ago, and can't even remember why his day was so good!

I will say he is growing more content in the world most of the time. He cries much less often, and is soothed much quicker. He goes 10-20 minute stretches of being content on his own, in the high chair or on the floor with his toys. But he still spends most of the day being carried in a sling or baby carrier.

His new struggle is falling asleep. That is when he cries the most, right at that point between wake and sleep.

I'm really trying to remember to just be present with him and enjoy every moment: how incredibly soft his hair is, how tiny his chubby little hands still are, the incredible color of his eyes: copper from the front and blue-gray from the side.

If nothing else, he certainly makes me prioritize my life! Beck first, clean dishes and organized closet way after that!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Beckett Update: Singing and Napping

I want to post little updates as Beckett grows and changes. So many little things happen that I don't want to forget!

A few weeks ago, it was after we moved to Juneau, he started laughing an giggling at our funny antics. Matt's gotten really good at making him laugh--he'll scrunch his face or  draw his mouth wide as a stream of silly noises gurgle from him. I'll lay on my back, Beck resting on calves, and I'll raise my knees to parallel, his tiny hands grasped in mine. "You're flying!" I exclaim, and then coo, "Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba Beckett!" to the tune of the batman theme. His mouth opens wide in a big grin as he soars over mommy.

I got my library card here in Juneau about a week and a half ago and checked out a bunch of books for Beck. When I read them to him he really sat and listened and looked. I was so surprised, he's still such a little guy! He loves feeling things with his hands and got a real kick out of turning the pages with his very own hands, though he likes to push them in the opposite direction than we read.

On Friday he started napping! Such a shock! Matt and I always tried laying him down, and he'd never sleep more than 10-20 minutes without one of us holding him or sleeping right next to him. But on Friday my mom was here, and said, "do you ever lay him down to see if he'll nap?"

"Yeah," I sighed, "he never does. But we keep trying because we know one day he will."

So I tried it, and guess what! He konked out for like an hour and a half! Yesterday and today both he took like 3 naps; his lids sink closed as he sucks on his pacifier. He descends into peaceful sleep. I keep peeping in on him as he dozes sweetly, then and come out to celebrate with Matt. "Our baby naps!" I croon.

Tonight he started singing. Maybe he's always been singing and we just never new it, but tonight Matt sang along to "Edelweiss," one of his favorite Sound of Music songs. Beck has always said "Oh!", that was actually his very first sound, but tonight he said it in rhythm to Matt's singing. His sounds normally have the same pitch, but tonight he added a lower, "Oh!" really trying to match Matt's voice. "Oh, oh," he trilled, one high and one low. So cute!

He was a real joy tonight, talking and babbling lots to grandma, mommy, and daddy. He's also completely obsessed with chewing on his little hands, gobs of slobber running down his chin.

I think sometimes I underestimate him, he's so tiny and can do so little himself. But he ovserves and processes the world around him all the time, that's why he needs so many naps! He never ceases to surprise and amaze us, each day we wonder what little joy will unfurl as he grows toward adulthood.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Living Without (or living with Box): Moving to Juneau part 2

There's this limbo period when you've moved somewhere like Juneau, when your crap is still in transit. Until then you just make do with whatever you've managed to cram into your Outback.

Or you get inventive. On a trip to Costco our groceries got packed, as is the custom, in a box. But necessity showed us that this humble rectangle, clothed in paper, was so much more than just a box.

Emptied of its contents at home it revealed itself to be the perfect height for table--if you're eating while sitting on the floor. The next obvious use was a desk, where I drafted this very post. I even jotted notes right on the top of it. The cats burrowed underneath, and so it became a much-coveted cat hidey-hole.

One day, as I attempted to lug our giant load of diapers in my arms, I realized I'd been eating and working on the perfect laundry basket! A few days later awesome Box unveiled its skill for being the perfect height for Beckett to practice standing!

 Our plebian Box now sits in the burn pile. A terrible fate for such a useful thing. But I'm hopeful that kindling is not Box's final use. Box will surely transfigure again before then!

"Recliner"

"Entertainment center". Note the blue "cat bed" next to it.




Box.

Sleeping on the ground and eating on Box might not be so fun for extended periods, but living minimally has made me realize how much I don't need.

We've been cooking dinners in one skillet, eating off two plates, sitting and changing diapers on the floor, and we're just as happy as ever. Maybe more so because the house is actually clean.

I'll admit, our backs are a little sore from lifting Beck up from sitting on the floor so often (no lie, at least 20 times a day because that's how many diaper changes he needs), and even more sore for sleeping on the floor, but I can see when you have what's important, your family, you really don't need all that much.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Almost more adventure than our Outback could handle: moving to Juneau

So, I mentioned that we moved to Juneau, but the actual move was quite a little adventure.

Moving to Alaska, or off the road system in Alaska has it's own challenges. Our stuff (aka "crap") has to be trucked and then barged from Anchorage to Juneau, so it takes several weeks to actually get from the old place to the new one.

It really makes you think about weather or not you really want to pay to haul around all the crap in your life, and I cringe as I report that Matt and I paid to have 8,600 pounds of crap hauled down here. And that's after we purged. We are in major need of simplifying.

This leaves you with a few weeks where you basically need to live without stuff.

On top of all that, we are moving in January. In Alaska. Our crap is being hauled as I write this along the Alcan Highway, where is it well below freezing. So no liquids could be packed.

This might seem like a little thing, but since we are already living in Alaska, where things are more expensive, I started to order and buy things in bulk, like the special laundry detergent to wash our darling son's diapers.

Most people would just have donated or given away their liquids, but not us. We were determined to get them here.

Matt devised this genius idea to get one of those old Sears cartop carriers to facilitate our plan. This way we could bring some of our more important liquids as well as some of the essentials we would need for living in Juneau until all our crap arrived.

The list of things we wanted to cram in our car got longer and longer. Especially when you consider the three cats and dog that also needed to fit in there. Oh yeah, and our son.

So the day of our departure we started packing the car three hours before we needed to leave. Matt played a genius Tetris game getting everything to fit: 40 cloth diapers & accessories, 2 gallons of laundry detergent, 12" cast iron skillet, two plates and place settings, sleeping bags and mats, essential clothing and toiletries for three humans, litter box, pet food and bowls, car seat, stroller, cooler full of salmon I couldn't bear to part with, pillows . . . as I write this I'm a little in awe that he fit it all in!

Despite the three hours, and Beckett being an angel as I wore him and tried to help Matt as best as I could, it was still way to much stuff to cram in an Outback. As our departure time rolled closer, knowing if we missed our ferry we wouldn't be able to catch another one for a month or so, I started to panic a little. Not my usual mode.

I needed to move fast! And hauling around a 13 pound infant hampers that. I put Beck down with the vacuum cleaner running in the same room and RAN!

I dragged everything left to go down the to car for Matt to load. As the critical hour approached we realized it wasn't all going to fit. The wine! We grabbed four bottles to stash in our car, and dragged the rest over to our neighbor.  I hauled trash, and everything else we couldn't fit into the car, out to the dumpster. I crammed cats into their carriers while cooing them into acquiescence. I lifted our aging Golden, Jack, into his small space in the car, stacked the cat carriers into place, and ran back to Beckett, just sure he would be crying. He was happily staring at the ceiling playing with his hands. I put him into his car seat, snapped it into place, jumped into my seat while lifting my feet over the frying pan, and we were off! Only a few minutes behind schedule!

As the garage door closed on 134 E Cook, I didn't even have time to think about how we'd never see this place again because the cats were yowling, Jack was staring at me with his big eyes, and of course, the baby started screaming.

Beckett had loved his car seat up until now, being lulled to sleep in his warm little cocoon by the motion of the car. I'm sure the bustle and stress of packing and moving (as well as the yowling cats, you'd think someone was playing Mr. Potato Head with their limbs or something!) finally got to him. He was inconsolable. Sweet Jack, who was next to him, put his head at his feet. Nothing helped. Our exit from Anchorage was not a quiet graceful one.

We made it the 60 miles Whittier in one piece, despite the howling and screaming. The Spacebag of diapers only fell on Hugo's cat carrier twice. Soon we were driving onto the ferry M/V Kennicott, our home for the next two days.

Enjoying the view.
Looking back, being aboard the ferry was actually the most comfortable stage of our move. We had bunk beds in a little state room. The cafeteria served warm food three times a day, and we could stroll or carry Beck around the ship to get him to sleep. During the daylight hours we had splendid views of the Alaskan coast.

Not so for the pets. We had agonized over the 40 hours the pets would spend on the ferry leading up to the move. Matt, my ever prepared boyscout, found a pet playpen online, which he set up in the back of the car with a litter box for the cats. While he was doing that of course, Kenzie, our perky cat, escaped. She eluded him briefly as she explored the car deck, but after only a few minutes (which felt like hours) she returned to be stuffed back in to the car. Jack lay in the middle of the car, and we crammed all the other stuff in the two front seats. We were able to come down to walk Jack and attend to the cats every 8 hours or so. Hugo, our biggest cat, who is also the biggest scaredy-cat, hid in the litter box most of the time, but everyone else seemed to do just fine.

View from the bow
The first day of sailing was splendid. Sunny and clam, but by that evening we were told our first (and only) stop at Yakutat would be as short as possible as the captain was trying to stay ahead of a storm.

Our short stop in Yakutat
That night the storm caught us. It was hard to tell looking out of our little porthole into the dark night, but what I saw of the ocean reminded me a little of The Deadliest Catch. Fortunately the rough seas were at night, so we slept through most of them. My short and necessary forray to the restroom at 3 AM was a made especially memorable by all the lurching. By morning the ship had made it to the inside passage, where it travels along inside barrier islands, and the seas were much calmer.


M/V Kennicott safely docked in Juneau
Before we knew it we were cramming everything back into place in our little Subaru for the 20 minute drive to our new home. The cats yowled, Jack gave his best heart-tugging stare, and of course, Beckett started screaming again. On top of it all we didn't do as good of a job repacking so the sleeping bags kept falling on poor jack. Hello Juneau! The Walkers (and their laundry detergent) are here!

 Soon, but not soon enough, we were pulling into the driveway of our new home on Douglas Island. All of us were glad to set food on solid, snowy ground. The cats, I know, were glad to be free again.
Home!

And with that, our next adventure began: camping out in our new round home for the few weeks until our crap gets here.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Juneau: a new home

Everyone whose ever come to Juneau arrived by boat or plane. That's the only way in to a city rimmed by mountains and glaciers on one side, and the ocean on the other. It's the only way out too. Apparently what this place has to offer despite all that (or maybe even because of it) is more than enough for the 30,000 people who make it their home. We're betting it'll be more than enough for our little family too.

Since my last entry over a year ago Matt and I have given birth to a son and just recently moved to Juneau. Both have renewed my interest and commitment to updating our blog. Time to write is even harder to find now with darling little Beckett here, but even more important to me. Things change so fast, I want to get it down before I forget it all!

Juneau became a  possibility for us when Matt found a job down here that he was very excited about. The opportunity became an offer, and we jumped at the chance to join this unique community. He is now working with traffic safety for the state.

We are actually living on an island! A bridge stretches across the channel from downtown Juneau to Douglas Island, where we now make our home. We were lucky enough to find a great little house that is minutes from hiking trails, a kayak launch spot, and a ski resort.

It's round and red, as you can see. I'm super excited to make use of the green house and raised beds come spring. I'm going to grow at least 7 varieties of heirloom carrots! The past two growing seasons have taught me to grow what's suited to the climate here, instead of my hairbrained attempts at growing melons and cucumbers despite the short, mild summers.

The weather is more mild here than in Anchorage, so we were very excited to be able to take Beckett for his very first hike when the temperature went all the way up to a balmy 34 degrees this past weekend. We hit the Rainforest Trails with a bundled baby and Jack in tow, and I was jumping out of my boots with exhilaration. I couldn't wait to show Beck the outdoors.


When he was still inside me, I started a list in my head of all the things I wanted to show him. Alpenglow, bears, and berry picking in the fall, cake, his daddy, freezing rain, green: all the shades from blades of grass to new leaves to spruce trees, hoarfrost, ice on the inlet . . . I think nature's beauty is one of the best parts of our time here, and I've been so eager to share that with Beck. So there I was, with a snow-covered spruce forest right in front of me, and my little guy all bundled up and ready to see it all.

We tromped right in to the towering trees, and despite my huge boots our footfalls were dampened by snow covered pine needles. It's been years since I felt how soft a footstep can be in a forest in winter, but the familiar sound brought me right back to my childhood in the mountains of Boulder, Co. The forest here is dense, and it was already 3:00 and the light was fading. We let the hushed dimness wash over us. Snow rested on the outstretched branches, and I whispered to Beck that I was going to do my best to be quiet and just let him take it all in.

The trail wound through the woods for a short ways, and soon I could see water beyond the dark lines of the trunks. A smile lit my face as I realized how close I now live to the ocean. We broke through the trees to a stunning view of the channel. White snow ran right up to the tide line on the black rock beach. Dark spruce trees, snow outlining their edges, textured the islands and mountains across the calm water. I got a little choked up right there standing amidst all that beauty, because I'm still, and will always be, an emotional banana. This is what Beckett is going to grow up seeing.

 

Monday, January 24, 2011

Come Visit!

Jen clearly hasn't made posting a priority. She wants to write more for you to read (just as soon as life slows down, she keeps telling herself). At least she's always hopeful.

Until I get to posting again, I just wanted to say on the side of our blog I've embedded a calendar so that anyone wanting to come visit can see when others are planning to come (or when Jen's out of town . . .). Really we just want as many people to come visit as possible, so I'm hoping this little too helps facilitate. It's a little annoying because it only shows two months at a time, so you have to keep clicking "show more" until it gets to June when I've actually entered stuff.

Hope to see you all soon,
Jen.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Where Can You Get More Sun Than the Land of the Midnight Sun?

From the moment you dive into the warm, clear water of the Florida Keys you know you're in a special place. Dunking my head underwater I'm immediately immersed in another world. The colors seem too incredible to be real. The water is seriously aqua blue and deep jade green. Then you realize the world down here is swimming with life! aubergine sea fans wave in the underwater "breeze" and bright orange coral dot the sand. 5 torpon that were at least as long as I was zoomed by at the periphery of my underwater world. Soon and entire school of fish the size of paperclips surrounded me. They pulsed brilliant turquoise, yellow, green, and blue in time with each other as they moved in unison. What an amazing world. I truly hope it's not the last time I see these wonders!


Matt and I enjoyed the heck out of having the sun right overhead (even though it was 95 degrees by 9 am). For six days we snorkeled in pristine, aqua-blue waters, sought the shelter of a palm tree, or enjoyed the incredible invention of air conditioning. It was a nice change up from Alaska, and an entire world away, to be sure!

I also enjoyed seeing my niece and nephew, as they now live 3,000 miles away. At the ages of one and two they are changing too fast to keep up with from so far away. It was really nice to see them learning how to walk and swim. I made the car sound for Hunter as he plowed his car through the sand, he thought that was the best thing ever and kept asking me to "do it again!"

We also ate at some fabulous restaurants. Matt and I are passionate about food if we're passionate about anything!

We had an incredible night at the Islamorada Fish Company overlooking the bay and watching the sunset while we ate wonderfully cooked mahi mahi, scallops, and ahi. Hunter sat right next to me and was a wonderful restaurant guest, even if he ate his spaghetti with his hands!

Kaiyo had the best sushi we've ever had--and we've had lots lately. We took my dad there for Father's Day, and we all felt lucky to share that meal with him.

Because of crazy flight times, Matt and I ended up spending some time exploring Miami on our own. We discovered another great restaurant (Michael's Genuine Food and Drink--OMG! That's a meal we'll relive for awhile to come), a cute little B&B on the river, and found the glorious and somewhat crowded beaches of South Beach.

I came away realizing that even though I live in a city it's nothing compared to a "real" city like Miami. Just looking at those towering apartment buildings with people living on top of each other made me glad my city is so small by comparison.

As we traveled back to Alaska, it might have been the jet lag or the 16 hours traveling, but I was so, so ready to come home. Anchorage was a welcome and familiar sight as we came in for our landing, and it got me thinking. An anchor can be a source of security and stability, a sign that you want to stay put for awhile. Anchorage has definitely become that for us.

Enjoy some pics of the trip!

Monday, July 5, 2010

Updates coming soon!

Hello! I just wanted to drop a quick entry to say I've been busy adventuring! Matt and I went to Florida with my family, and then I went to Glacier Bay National Park with my next door neighbor and best friend, and am off again this week to tour Homer, Seward, Seldovia and the like with my best friend Ang. I am working on slide shows from the trips and promise to post updates soon!

Thanks for the support,
Jen

Monday, June 14, 2010

Mom is co-pilot!

Sun sparkled from every corner of Kachemak Bay, its brilliant aqua blue surface stunning my mom and I as we drove into Homer. From its intense color life exploded: sea otters floated holding their new fuzzy babies to their chests, puffins torpedoed through the air, and kittiwakes swooped and called. What an magnificent place we live in! Earth never ceases to amaze me with her abundant beauty.

My mom came to visit me last week, and after she helped me dig a garden and plant we drove down to Homer, made our way across Kachemak Bay to Seldovia, and enjoyed a few days in this incredible part of the world.

On our way to Homer we stopped by the seaside town of Ninilchck. where we pulled of the Sterling highway to see the beach. We wound down through the tiny village of Ninilchick where wooden houses squated along a grassy "u" of land embraced by a bend in the river. An abandoned bright turquoise boat shell advertised for boats.

On a clear day you can see right across to the ever-snowy Alaska Range, home to a number of volcanoes. Today, as the gray sky dripped, it was just the sea ahead of us, heavy and gray.

As we drove the length of the village to the beach we realized we were looking out upon about 20 white-headed eagles gripping the dark sand along the mouth of the river. The looked skeptically our way, some pulling their wings just slightly away from their body as if ready to soar should we come any nearer. One soaking fellow dipped his head into the river over and over. Several others soared above the bluff behind the village chasing and picking at each other.

Looking down a noticed a kaleidoscope of seaweed covered stretches of the beach: peach, scarlet, bronze, scum-green, and brown. Some smooth, some frilled, it added texture to the pebbled beach.

We chanced the local seasonal restaurant and ordered the local specialty:Alaskan Razor Clams, fried with a side of fries. Those clams sank like, well, fried clams in our bellies, and we left feeling like bloated pieces of detritus. That was the last of the fried food we'd eat for awhile!

We stayed at a super cute B&B in homer and ate an excellent dinner at the Mermaid Cafe. The next day we caught a ferry to Seldovia, and enjoyed seeing the sea life on our trip over. We found a lovely hike through the temperate rain forest to a pebbled beach.

The next day we took my very first fishing charter, what a thrill! This wonderful guy, Fritz who runs Alaskan Grace charter, took us out to fish for halibut.

The boat ride out to the Gulf of Alaska was incredible, and then he put some chunks of octopus on some fishing lines for us, attached to a weight about the size of my fist. We lowered the lines, and as I set in to wait, as it always the case when you fish, I turned to look at the captain to see what I should be doing with my line while I waited, and he said, "If they're not biting immediately we'll have to move!" I thought I was hearing things, when sure enough my line started to jounce. About five minutes of arm ache later (I was sure I was reeling in at least a 70 pounder) I had my first halibut!

Mom followed soon after an in literally 15 minutes we both had our limit of 2 halibut each. Wow. I've never experienced fishing like that before!

As mom's visit drew to close I felt so lucky to have been able to spend such a lovely time with someone I love in an awe-inspiring place. Right now teaching in Alaska feels like the best job ever, because I have 3 months to explore this breathtaking place with the people I most love!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

We've got people!

It's 11:32 pm on Memorial Day, and there's still plenty of light left in the day to finish writing my blog! I am definitely finding it difficult to sleep, but since it's summer and I don't have a job to report to for the next two months I just stay up late and nap lots. I definitely feel like I am living to the fullest, it pretty much rocks!

This week marks my one-year anniversary as an Alaska resident, and it was just this week that I've really come to realize we really have made some great friends up here in that short time.


I'll give you something to be pissed about . . .

Hugo, our sweet and huge grey kitty has been super sick. He's got a serious bladder infection, and unfortunately we didn't realize it until he was pissing all over the house and being what I considered to be a big gigantic butt. I was so mad at him, and just sure he was doing it because he was pissed at me for something or other, and then I realized he was really, really sick and trying to tell me something. Poor guy. Now he really has something to be pissed at me about, literally!

We were referred to this great vet (Diamond Animal Hospital) who is open 24 hours and doesn't charge extra for late visits. They patiently saw Hugo two days in a row after 10 pm and made sure he was doing ok and had all the right meds. Apparently, if a cat can't pee it can be a life-threatening emergency, so they were very attentive and patient through the whole process and didn't mind my numerous calls and visits. Thank goodness we had such a good vet up here when we really, really needed one.



If you ever need a farmer's daughter . . .

In my life-long pursuit of organization I sought out some gorilla racks on craigslist (big sturdy metal shelves) to help organize our garage. In typical Jen fashion I arranged to pick them up before realizing they wouldn't fit into our Subaru. What's a girl to do? Call a farmer's daughter!

Marnie was my co-worker this past year, teaching right across the hall from me. This is her first year in Alaska too. She pet sat for Matt and I over Winter Break, and was simply the best pet sitter ever--Jack LOVED her, almost as much as he loves me.

Anyway, she had this big 'ol truck with "Farmer's Daughter" written right across the back window. It is always so hard for me to ask for help, but I I'm trying to acknowledge more and more we are all connected and need to help each other through this life. It only took a phone call and next thing I knew she was hauling my big 'ol shelf in her big 'ol truck clear from one end of town to the other, and on Memorial Day Weekend too!

As we unloaded the shelves into my stuffed-to-the-gills garage I realized I truly have a friend I can call on in a time of need.



Paddle no matter what!

On Saturday we had a HUGE treat: we got to go white water kayaking on the Eagle River. How did we get so lucky you might ask? Well, we've got people!

Matt's co-worker Dave invited us to Kayak with him, supplying us with all the gear from the kayaks to the dry suits to the paddles (even the ridiculous helmets).

We were in this neat-o inflatable kayak that was impervious to rocks and rapids alike. Freezing glacial-melt bursts over the sides of the kayak every time we broke through a rapid, making my blood pump a little faster. Then we'd reach a lazy, calm stretch where we could just float along and enjoy the stunning mountains and lush greenery, and we'd round a bend and be off again, paddling no matter what the river threw at us!

Dave taught us to surf the rapids, a crazy phenomena where you paddle like hell up the river towards a current until you find the quiet sweet spot and can kind-of just sit still in the middle of all that torrential glacial melt pouring downhill around you.

Towards the end we stopped to scout the "bigger" rapids ahead to see if we wanted to brave them. Matt and I decided that in the impervious kayak we'd definitely try it. What a rush! We actually went down a big set of rapids backwards, but the kayak that wouldn't tip just turned sideways, and then we just kept on going right through all those fun rapids!



A much anticipated arrival

My mom arrived late Sunday night, and we are so excited to have her! She is an amazing work horse of efficiency, and has already helped me double-dig my front flower garden. Tonight we ate Chipotle Orange BBQ Salmon Tacos (super yum!) with our neighbor Tracy and celebrated all our people, those who are no longer with us, and those we are lucky enough to still have filling our lives.

Well, the mosquitoes are swarming--even here indoors at my computer. I think I've killed at least 45 today, and 17 of those have been in the past 30 minutes. Maybe it's a sign that I should go to bed! Definitely a sign my posts are way too long. New goal: cut to the bone!

I almost forgot! I added some pages to this blog: a book review page of books by Alaskan authors or about Alaska, and a travel guide put together by Matt and yours truly. You can find links to them right at the top of the page under the the picture of Glacier Bay National Park.


Until next time,

Jen

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Summer's here: hikes and flights and authors oh my!

The bell rang one last time for the school year and the students let out a celebratory whoop before flooding the halls to hug all of their friends goodbye.

We teachers herded and prodded them toward the exits. Waiting outside in the gentle Alaskan sun we watched them load the buses, and then waved farewell as the buses pulled away. "I won't miss you!" I called out as I did the parade wave for what seemed like forever. And as soon as all 10 buses were out of sight the staff of Mears Middle School let out a celebratory whoop too!

You guessed it, Jen has officially finished her last week of school this year. Now that summer feels like is has officially begun we've got plenty of adventures, large and small, underway.

On Thursday Matt took a trip out to Platinum, one of his communities, where he had a rare clear day for his flight. He said the views of anchorage and the surrounding mountains were stunning. As the plane descended toward Anchorage glaciers came into view, all three volcanoes along the Alaska Range, and he even could see all the way down the Kenai Peninsula into the Gulf of Alaska. It's pretty cool that he was on the clock AND earning airline miles while he got to see all this natural beauty.

While in Platinum he spoke with his contact there about goose hunting, which is happening big time right now. Black Brants and Emperor Geese are apparently flying (and being hunted) in in abundance.

As we learn more about subsistence food cultures (and the horrors of industrial factory farmed food) we are very intrigued by this way of life--envious even. But we are not yet hunting ourselves, just unsuccessfully fishing so far. Hopefully this summer we at least become mediocre anglers. Mom and Dad Paterson have recently purchased Matt a new fly rod that will certainly give a good start!

On Saturday Matt and I attended the grand opening of the new Alaska Writing Center called Raven Place. We have both been volunteering to help get the little house clean and ready to go for the summer season; it rents as a guest house in the summer and in the autumn and winter will house writing workshops and such. It's run by 49 writers, and it's very exciting to be a part of this project from the beginning.

The guest speaker was Heather Lende, author of If You Lived Here, I'd Know Your Name and her latest release, Take Good Care of the Garden and the Dogs.

She read from Take Good Care and I was awestruck by the honesty and raw emotion in her writing. She basically writes about life in small-town Haines, Alaska, where she lives. But it's fascinating and perceptive and very thought provoking.

In her first chapter she talks about the blessing of the ships in their harbor, a friend who lost her son in a shipping accident, literally being hit by a car, and losing her mom to cancer, and then ended it all with this incredible connection to the Aurora Borealis. I wish I could quote it all here, but that's what libraries are for, right? 

I'm looking forward to reading the signed copy of this book in the next few months and promise to report back on it. I'm glad we are finding our way into little bits of communities like 49 Writers up here in this big city.

Matt and I also realized that we have seen more authors up here in the past year than ever before in our lives. We've seen Nikki Giovanni and Heather Lende, and I've seen Chris Crutcher. All three times we got signed books, which are the first books I've ever had signed by authors. I guess that's one of the perks of living in a city!

Today Matt, Jack, and I hiked the Powerline trail. Even though all snow has been melted for weeks down here in the city, and short 20 minute drive up into the Chuguach Mountains brought us to patches of snow, ice, and mud. We had a messy but beautiful hike, and even saw a moose. I think just a few more spotting of those huge beasts and we won't even be fazed by them any more.

Daytime highs are around 55, and at night it's been getting down to about 45. Plenty of light invades every corner of this place right now though, so growth of grass and trees is simply stunning. In some places literally overnight things grow more than you can imagine. I'm looking forward to putting in my garden this next week!

I cannot WAIT for my trip to Glacier Bay National Park in late June. The trip has been made even better by the addition of my best friend Angie. She has always wanted to come to Alaska, so I'm excited that we'll be able to explore this corner of the Last Frontier for the first time together. Check out the map below: can you just imagine what I'm in for? The "A" label is Blue Mouse Cove, where we're hoping to paddle around & camp for a few days. We start in Gustavus (lower right-hand corner) and take a park water taxi into the park (they'll drop us off and pick us up). I could go on and on, but I'll spare you my excited babble and leave off for another time.


View Larger Map

Until next week,
Jen (& Matt)

Book image from: http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41bbMkVNoUL.jpg

Sunday, May 16, 2010

A change in how I'm posting: welcome to weekly updates! Also: what we'll be doing this summer.

Alright, alright, so I'm probably among the worst bloggers ever because I don't post enough! The problem is I'm always waiting for something noteworthy to write about, when really I feel like I'm just going along living my normal 'ol life. But I've decided that I can find Alaskan things to write about each week, they'll just be smaller, and perhaps a little more subtle.

I've also been inspired by one of my students who blogs now as a result of my evil homework requirement that students write for an hour outside of class each week. He blogs every Sunday, he just sits down and does it. And the result is a reliable post that reflects the ebb and flow of his life.

So that's my new goal: more reliable posts that reflect the ebb and flow of our Alaskan (and just regular ol' Matt and Jen) life. My hope is to give readers and family a more consistent idea of what the heck we're up to!

So . . . this past week I've been winding down the school year. My students and I have just four more days together. I am so, so excited for summer, as are my students. I'm pleased to report that I will be teaching next year at my same school, Mears Middle School, in the same teaching position. I work with a fabulous team of teachers and have really grown to love my working relationship with them.

This summer is going on record in my books already as the best summer ever. We've got some great adventures planned, and even better, we're going to get to spend some quality time with people we really love. One thing about living way up here: our loved ones are so far away, and it takes 5-18 hours to fly to see them depending on where we're headed. Luckily, our current location is enticing many of them to come visit this summer.

My mom comes to visit the first week of June to help me get my summer started off right. We'll be hiking and kayaking and yoga-ing as we hang out just like we used to when I lived in Co.

Our first big adventure will be a LONG trek down to the Florida Keys to vacation with my family. We are really looking forward to spending a week in the sun. Even though spring has technically arrived in Alaska we're still not seeing the sun more than a few days a week, and even then the highs have been only up to 50 degrees.

After that Jen is going to venture down to Glacier Bay National Park with our neighbor Tracy (in case you can't tell I am literally jumping up and down as I report this). It's actually a bit of a trek--we'll be flying down to Juneau, taking a hopper flight to Gustavus, and then taxiing (via boat) into the park to kayak and camp for three days. Tracy said odds are excellent that we'll see: gray whales, orcas, bears, moose, seal pups, tons of sea birds, lots of glaciers, and more! I can't wait to see it all and report back! I am especially thankful that Tracy is including me in this summer adventure. She's taken this trip 15-16 times and so I know I am in capable hands.

At the end of July Matt's entire family, including his aunt Jenifer, is coming to visit us!! We are going to hang out in Homer and Seward and plan to fish, hike, kayak, climb glaciers, and enjoy each other's company in the midnight sun.

Can you see why this will be the best summer ever? I can't wait! A few quick notes on life before summer: Matt's gotten another community to work with: Pelican. That will be his first Southeast Alaskan community. He is very much looking forward to his first visit to the SE this summer. You can see an updated map of his communities below. Jen has been volunteering for 49 Writers by helping them with their new writing center (she's responsible for planting and upkeep of the flower boxes out front). She's even been featured in their blog!

Until next week,
Jen.


Click on the blue markers in the map above to get the community names!
View Matt's Communities in a larger map

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Did I tell you I live in a stunningly beautiful place?

Not every day, but when that sun comes out it's incredible up here! We're at over 12 hours of light up here (the equinox is this weekend), and boy has that sun been showing it's face.

Here's a shot of sunset (8:30 pm) tonight right across the street from my house. That's the Alaska Range rising up out of a honey-gold and ice-chunked Cook Inlet. Those are lovely oil tanks in the foreground.

From Blogger Pictures

This time of year is what they call "breakup" up here--I'm thinking 'cause it's so messy! Really it's just because all that ice and snow is breaking up. Today it got up to 42 in the afternoon, it's melty and puddley and muddy, but then it'll all freeze back up at night, so we've got one toe in winter and one toe in spring.

A solid brown scum coats all the cars, making us feels the tug of the car wash, only to be deterred by enormous lines snaking out from their cavernous entrances. I just want to be wearing muck boots every day (can I wear those to work? do you think that's "professional dress"?). I know they can get away with this in some of the smaller, more practical towns, but Anchorage thinks it's some big fashion stop and I know I'd be on the outs immediately (especially with 120 fashion savvy 8th graders). Maybe next year I'll have the guts to do it anyway.

Anyway--I want you all to come visit. This is truly a remarkable place, and it's not always going to be this pristine and lovely (population growth, climate change, and the rapid and careless destruction of the natural resources are happening, I promise).

As summer approaches I am dreaming of salmon and misty forests and berry-laden bushes. Of the sheer, snow-capped mountains pushing their way right up out of the water where orcas and sea otters glide. I want to kayak and hike and explore my way right back to peaceful, contemplative wintertime. I hope you join me!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Not so Typical

So it's February, and it's raining here in Anchorage! The snow has turned to dirty slush and everything is dripping and soggy. I now officially know what it feels like to live on top of a slushy.

It feels a little crazy, and it's definitely not what I expected for an "Alaskan" winter. I'm quickly learning, as in most things, there is not a typical "Alaskan" anything.

For one thing, the state is so damn big! From one end to the other the temperatures typically vary at least 40 degrees.

For another thing, Anchorage and many of the coastal areas have just incredibly variable climates. My science teacher co-worker informed me that there is no "typical" season in Anchorage. Rainy all one summer, sunny the next, there were two straight weeks of -15 temperatures last January, and for the past 3 or so weeks the highs have been above freezing. Go figure.

As I was slogging through the crazy snow mush on my way home today, I felt like I could use a good dose of summer about now. Here's a slide show of the highlights of our summer adventures (most of which didn't get blogged--bad blogger!). Enjoy!


Here's a re-cap:
Matt's brother, Chris, came to visit and we went down to Whittier where we hiked and kayaked.

My parents came up and we went salmon fishing on the beautiful Kenai river, dad caught a silver!

Matt and I found a very cool hiking trail in our new favorite town, Girdwood, that crosses the Winner Creek on an hand cart. Yes, we made Jack ride across, he was none too happy about it too, but as always, a good sport!

Matt and I hiked up Flat Top Mountain, a local hike STRAIGHT up to stupendous views.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Wines List Added

One thing that is great about Anchorage is there are a few phenomenal restaurants. We've been lucky enough to enjoy some fabulous meals from them on occasion, and we've been able to sample some great wine as well.

I've added a list on the left-hand side of the blog of the wines we've sampled since coming to Anchorage that we really love. I also included the restaurant and approximate date we sampled it at. It's more of a way to remember and keep track of them than anything else, but I thought a few other readers might find it interesting.

Here are the restaurants that we capital "L" Love so far in Anchorage:
  • Crush: a fabulous wine and tapas bar. The menu and wines ALWAYS delight. Great atmosphere. Jen's very favorite (see picture @ left).
  • Glacier Brew House: Good selection of AK seafood, pretty good brews made in house. Consistently an enjoyable experience.
  • Orso: a contemporary Italian restaurant specializing in local ingredients (see review below). We've had some incredible meals here, and a few that bombed.
  • Sacks Cafe: a little spendy for a normal outing, but the food is always excellent. I had a calamari salad here for lunch when my mom and dad were here that was amazing. We particularly enjoy the more affordable brunch (served weekends only) where my favorite dish is crab & scallop cakes topped with poached eggs drizzled with chipotle hollandaise sauce. Yes, it's as incredible as it sounds.
We hope you visit soon so we can share our favorite eats with you!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Best "Local" Meal Yet!

So, we went down to a restaurant in our downtown area (only about 2 miles away) called Orso. They had this special tonight (ok, "tonight" was around 2/5/10):

Fresh Fare Travels to Spain and Portugal

Fresh Fare continues its travels this winter by visiting the wild, diverse and beautiful countries of Spain and Portugal. The location lends itself to a rich history with a natural bounty. The diverse regions produce phenomenal wines which complement the wide array of flavorful profiles. It’s a resilient and sophisticated cuisine, yet simple in execution as nothing but the best will do.
Prix Fix Menu 65.00 with wine
Shrimp and Reindeer sausage skewer
Dusted with star anise and grilled. Served over a shaved fennel, orange and olive salad. 9.95
Albariño, Legado del Conde ‘08, Rías Baixas 8.95

Alaskan Pork Belly
Apple braised, complimented with an Alaskan razor clam topped with shaved apples and fennel. 9.95
Grenache Syrah, Almira “Old Vines” ‘08, Campo de Borja 8.95

Umpquah Valley Lamb Chop and house made Linguica
Simply seasoned and grilled. Served with a stew of pearl onions, chic peas, figs, kale and linguica. Finished with a Pedro Ximenez-fig glaze. 31.95
Rioja, Martin Códax ‘06 6.95

Bizcocho Borracho (Olive Oil Lemon Cake)
A light moist cake made with olive oil, lemons and yoghurt. Soaked with our ORSO ‘09 Roof Honey, cinnamon, and brandy. 5.95
Cream Sherry, Solera 1847 6.95

So, since we've been to Spain, and we've recently vowed to do our very best to eat local, this was VERY exciting for us. Even better, the meal was fabulous.

The lamb was exceptionally tender, and this was my first time tasting figs with meat, but it was very nice. I particularly enjoyed the stew with chick peas and kale--very much my style.

The Alaskan sausages and shrimp skewers were juicy and a wonderfully tasty combo. My favorite wine was the Grenache Syrah--incredible wine! Great depth of flavor, very smooth (which is my favorite when I find it in wine, I don't know how else to explain it, it's just not too bitter or alchol-ly).

The olive oil cake is simply the best cake we've ever had. Incredibly moist, but not rich, it was simply a delight to eat. Matt likened it to a tres leches cake, without the leches. 

The low-point of the meal was the cream sherry, but that might just be because Matt and I are not sherry drinkers. After sampling all the fabulous wines with the meal it was a big, sweet let down.

 We split the meal, so it was a little more affordable, and the wine parings were excellent. I left the prices just so you can get a feel for what prices are like in Anchorage, this is NOT the most expensive restaurant. But, YUM! (or, to use Jen's new word: YUMB!) 

Orso is an modern Italian restaurant that tries really hard to use local ingredients (this is more of a challenge then you might realize in AK!) The cozy, rustic/contemporary interior is always a pleasant complement to the food. They consistently have excellent wines, and we've found some incredible (and not so incredible) meals there. The local fare are the wine keep me coming back.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Writing in Alaska

So, we just got to see a world-famous and personal hero of a writer up here for free (Nikki Giovanni), and now I'm finding out that Alaska is quite the hot-bed for writing! I've been aspiring to be a writer for some time, and the more I dedicate myself to that end t the more I am finding things in synchronicity of that goal. Anyway, here are some of the things I'm finding out! I know most people won't be that interested, so I'll try to keep it brief.

Great blog for/by Alaskans writers: 49 Writers, which is actually where I've found most of this information! I'm going to join their online discussion of Rock, Water, Wild: An Alaskan Life by Alaskan author Nancy Lord.

There are quite a few writing workshops up here. The two I'm most excited about are the Kachemak Bay Writer's Confrence, this year featuring none other than my writer super-hero Michael Cunningham, and the Wrangell Mountains Writing Workshop. Both occur annually and are in AMAZINGLY spectacular settings. Kachemak Bay is my favorite place in Alaska so far--Homer is there with this awesome little spit and great little shops and restaurants, and you look out over this pristine bay to towering mountains and volcanoes. The Wrangell mountains, on the other hand, are part of one of the largest national parks (I hope I'm getting that right, writing from memory and my relatively new acquisition of the gigantic Alaskan geography) that is supposed to be pristine and lovely. The town it's in, McCarthy, is a top pick in my AK Lonely Planet, and supposed to be this quirky off-the-beaten-path little place.

Then, I found out UAA has this low-residency MFA in "Creative Writing and Literary Arts". Never heard of low-residency programs, but the gist is you only have to be on campus for a very few weeks each year, allowing for some serious flexibility in location for the rest of the year. How cool. Plus, they emphasize the connection of landscape to art and writing, which is a personal passion of mine.

Just thought I'd share, I don't really know any other writers (OK, I know one other writer, and I already barraged her with some of this information), but I just thought this was all so neat. Who knows what I'll be able to take advantage of--from my vantage point even applying for an MFA program is just not even on the map--but I found it all exciting just the same. I AM off to a local writing conference tomorrow on voice, which I am very much looking forward to.

Here's hoping you are all nurturing the creative spirit with-in you, and finding some synchronicity of your own!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Nikki G rocks this house!

I am wired and fired up. Matt and I just saw Nikki Giovanni speak at UAA. How could anyone sleep with the heart of that poet beating so close? ahhhh. . . really good stuff. I feel like writing and singing and teaching and dancing and living, with some screaming and shouting and kicking thrown in. Here are some highlights. . .

She talked about the need to live WITH the things we feared, and that really was a theme the whole evening, but she started this topic with a rant against Palin and the aerial wolf shooting that Palin supported and allowed up here. That flowed into racial and cultural differences, which really was at the heart of what she spoke of tonight, as she was a guest speaker for Civil Rights Month.

She spoke of the importance of finding love and joy, and surrounding yourself with people you love and lift you. She spoke of the power of education and narrative to heal and change. You shouldn't seek an education for money, she said, but to change as a person. She spoke of the courage of MLK and Rosa Parks, and detailed Park's life and ultimate courageous act on that bus, and I learned more about the civil rights movement in an hour than I have in my whole educated life. She spoke of the heinous death of Emmett Till, which I knew nothing of before tonight, but basically was the spark (oh, there was plenty of tinder, but this was really the flash of light that started the burn) for the movement. I am changed for the knowledge I gained tonight.

I left thinking, "I have so much to show my students, they need to know these things!" I am inspired and thankful to have had the opportunity to bask in the heat of this incredible woman. As a bonus, I got my Nikki Giovanni poetry book Matt had given me for Christmas many years ago signed by her, and he got her to sign her poem "We Will Prevail"; which she wrote on the eve of the Virgina Tech massacre. Every time I hear or read this masterpiece I tear up and stand in awe of the power of words. . . to heal things we should never have to experience . . . to move us to fully embody our best . . to help us see the light. Thank you Nikki, for bringing a spark to this cold, Alaskan night.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Happy New Year! FAQ from "up there"

It's a little after 11 am, and the sun has just peaked over the Chugach Mountains and is dappling our winter wonderland with it's lovely light. I felt the sudden need to write and update you all, even thought it's been ages (and is might also have something to do with the fact that I'm supposed to be cleaning now . . .) I think it's no coincidence that I haven't written since I began teaching in August. But I remain determined that I can keep writing AND teaching, and I've resolved to be better about keeping my blog updated this year.

Let's start with an FAQ. Every time we run into old friends and family from the lower 48, here's what they ask, so I'm thinking it's safe to bet you'll wonder too . . .

Is it cold up there?
Yes. and not really, all at the same time. As soon as autumn hit it started getting into the 20's at night, and the mountains would get snow at the top (know as "termination dust" up here) but not down here in the Anchorage bowl. I'm told it's been unseasonably warm up here this year, but we finally got snow in November up here, well after Colorado's first big snow storm! Lately it's been pretty warm: 20's at night and up to 30-35 in the day. Once you adjust and expect it's going to always be cold outside it's just not that big of a deal. Anything above 30 makes you feel like you don't need your hat, so it "feels" warm. It's been down to 8 for a couple of days, but we've been told February is typically the coldest month, so we'll see!!

A couple strange things I've noticed since I've never had a winter that stayed basically always below freezing the whole time:
  • you should really take the time to clean your car off each time it snows. If you don't it's just going to keep building up! I actually couldn't open the back of our Subaru for a few days because I'd be negligent about removing the ice buildup from the bumper, it was iced in!!
  • yes, it can get cold enough to ice up the inside of the windshield too.
  • the road plowing crews up here are a sight to see! The plows are HUGE (I think the tires are literally taller than me) and they work in groups. They know exactly what they're doing, so the roads are almost always plowed and graveled in all the right places.
  • I'm told the last snow day we had here in Anchorage was a long, long, time about (I think I recall) 15 years or so ago. It actually snowed about three feel in 24 hours. THAT is how much snow it takes to slow this city down.
We do live basically on the ocean. Really it's an inlet, but the maritime weather keeps up much warmer than the interior of Alaska. The weather's basically comparable to the interior north of the US (think upstate New York, Minnesota, Michigan . . .)

Is it dark up there right now?
yes. Sun's up (over the mountains) around 11, setting about 3:30. We've passed the equinox, so we're slowing getting more light now. But you really can't even tell when the sun sets or rises each day, becuase it's ALWAYS cloudy. A nice sunny day like today has been incredibly rare. I feel like we live in a giant white cloudy dome. Even at night it doesn't feel that dark because there are so many city lights and they just reflect of the clouds or fog of whatever the overcast of the day is. I've seen perhaps 4 or 5 sunsets since September. Also, it's not as big a deal (the dark) as you'd think. Life goes on. It's pitch black when you drive to work, big whoop, you know? The one weird thing is I wake up and sometimes panic because I think I've overslept and it might be 9 or 10 am, or maybe just 3 am, and I have to go find a clock. I will say when we went to visit Matt's family for Christmas we both sat in their sun room for hours at a stretch just doing nothing other than soaking up the sun. I almost got offended every time they would come and close the blinds because it was getting hot.

Do you like it?
I'd tell you, "yes." and Matt would say, "it's alright." We don't like Anchorage. It's not the best city ever. The pollution is really bothering my lungs, and neither of us like the traffic or crazy drivers (it's truly an entirely different breed of crazy driver up here, I promise. I've not ever seen anything like it). There are great trails in the city, for walking or skiing, and they keep them groomed and lit during the winter. So that's a neat thing about our city. But we haven't really explored them like we should. The rest of the city leaves a lot to be desired. But Alaska, well it's a truly neat place and incredibly beautiful (just not the city). It's also it's own little place with some crazy quirks. It's the state with the highest rate of rape. yuck. Alcoholism is a huge problem, as is vagrancy in the city. Corruption is nearly an expected part of the government, and it feel a little like corporations are always trying to take advantage of the fact that this place is unbelievably rich in resources, and yet there's comparatively a tiny population to fight any sort of environmental damage that would come from maximizing profits of those resources. The government approved mine tailing dumping in a pond knowing it would kill all pond-life in it for the next 100 years. "It will create jobs," they said. On the other hand the native tribes are much stronger than anything I've ever experienced. Many have created corporations and in some cases really fight to make sure businesses don't just strip the land. So it's a mixed bag up here. But we are enjoying the adventure while we have the chance to.

That's it for now, more later I promise!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Tonight's Sunmelt--Darkness Approaches

I know I should be updating you with all of the adventure's we've had recently, but they're just not ready yet. I'm still drafting away, and for some reason they're just not flowing very well for me. Here's something that did, and I thought I'd share. I promise more updates soon!
~*~*~*~

The sleeping lady emerged tonight from her thick veil of clouds just in time for sunset. Tonight was less of a sunset, and more of a sunmelt. The clouds in the heavy, overcast sky made just a little room for the sun's setting rays to leak through from behind. The landscape brightened in that steely light, and then the light began to simply melt away. The glassy smooth inlet refelected the icy still colors: sleepy grey, slow but bold blue, pristine white, solid iron--and the faintest hint of rosy gold tint to everything. A warm cold if you can imagine; the fire waiting for you back home out of the cold. Winter's approach infuses the air. I'm not saying it's cold, but there's a definite chill behind it all. Everything is ready--the fireweed, the leaves, even the mountains. The sky started to trickle rain as the sun left our corner of the earth, and the landscape greyed gently into night--an artists loosely sketching charcoal over it all.

The dark is coming--I can feel it in my bones. Part of me digs my heels in and throws a fit--wants those long lazy warm days of gentle and endless light to last on and on. But I know it's because we don't want to face the dark that causes most of our pain. The dark and cold will come whether we want it to or not. It is as much a part of this life as the sun and warmth. The other part of me is going to embrace the dark--be present in every moment. It's going to live fully right on through it. It won't let that frigid blackness stop me from going outside, from moving and living, from staying in shape, or from gleaning insight from it all. All the more to live, to find and keep my own light and warmth burning bright, right? and just when the deepest, darkest black descends, well it's then I'll know that we'll be headed back into the light.